Your Favorite Color is the
Key to Your Sexual Life
The cloths you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all
give clues to your sexual personality. The key is the colors you select for
your possessions. Most people claim they haven't a favorite color. But look
around you, and you'll notice a pattern, especially in your clothing and home
decor. The predominant color for you is the one that appears most frequently
-- it's the one that mirrors the sexual you. A panel of psychologists,
speaking at the 1975 Home Interior Design Forum, explained the association
between color and sexual patterns.
RED: People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack. They are
easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark
is ignited, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together, the
ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be
aggressors and weaker colors should be aware.
YELLOW: If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are complex
and turn toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is yellow.
But don't panic -- not everyone who wears yellow is queer. In most cases the
person will consent to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner.
You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an
invitation from somebody you enjoy or admire.
PINK: Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual
matters: women tend to tease, to promise more than they intend to deliver. In
some cases they flaunt their femininity -- but because they secretly hate
men. A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire wardrobes in pink. Men
who like pink are the philanderers and flirts. They are the type who will
make three dates for the same evening and not keep one, preferring to pick up
a dish in some bar instead. Women whose husbands like pink should keep a
secret nest egg.
PURPLE: Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to be too
sophisticated for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who
hate to mess their hair. Men are business-like in their approach to love-
making. In both sexes purple partners are more concerned with their
fulfillment than anyone else's gratification.
BLACK: Black color preferences point to black sex (not necessarily
meaning black partners). These people are the misfits of the sex world and
seek out each other in kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex and are
usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and often
perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times. Police
psychiatrists claim that sex offenders prefer the color black. And it is no
coincidence that the uniform of mosters and teenage gangs is black attire.
GREEN: Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their
approach to sex. Women who love green will always make love like virgins all
their life. And a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a
charming and endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not
passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.
ORANGE: Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The
sex act is regarded as a dramatic one-act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings,
meaningless dialogue; they feel it is their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm -- but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair, and women leave red welts on the sex partner's back.
BROWN: If you love brown, you're a real treasure for the right mate.
Brown lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of
their partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you can't say "I love
you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.
GREY: The color grey a preferred by people who are indecisive. They
can't get excited about anything -- including color -- so they choose a
noncommittal shade. Men who prefer grey look at sex as a way of relieving
tension -- but nothing more, nothing less. It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
Women don't make love, they have intercourse. And for one of two reasons only:
to accommodate their mate, or to become pregnant. They count the cracks in the
bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. But when teamed with
another color, the grey spouse considers the other's infidelity a blessing.
When a grey marries another grey, the marriage is made in heaven.
BLUE: Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sinners,
affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider love making
a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert
pianists, delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand.
Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting
partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather than firery
aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking,
as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate
-- never seeking outside interests.
WHITE: If a person is infatuated with white, sex often seems filthy.
These people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make
love in the daylight in unheard of. Women who love white will undress beneath
the covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people still
use pet names for their genitals.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Reality Or Fantasy?
There are certain things in this life that really intrigue and puzzle me. The first one being, If we see the world only as we imagine it, how can we define what is real and what is not, and are things really here? How do we see things the same if we all have different minds?
I wonder if anybody out there knows how to separate reality from fantasy? What is real and what is in our imaginations? What would the world be like if we did not think? If we did not have imaginations would the world still exist?
I do not believe that anyone has the answers to these problems, as we will probably never know. I personally believe that without our imaginations the world would be blank and uniform. But in our minds we can separate what is true and what is not. The things in my life that are most important to me will always be there no matter what. The things in life that will always be there are the real things...but are they real or not?
It seems to me through this life that there are many people that are susceptible to rejection and abuse, both physical and mental. On different levels, not only through relationships or family even but also through people you trust and rely on. You reach a place in your head when you start to doubt yourself and ask yourself meaningless questions that only you can answer.
At these low points in your life you question your individuality, your human rights and weather or not you deserve to be on this earth. But we must all endure these experiences to give us knowledge of existence, and how to deal with things and move on. It is difficult to grab these concepts but when u realise how to deal with them you look towards the people you have got. In my personal opinion I could not live without my friends. Although family are supportive and can offer good advise, they are not there to share your hidden secrets with and have a good time with.
Friends are the most sacred people in your life. Without them you would feel lost and more vulnerable to being hurt because no one would be there to give you support. To me, I feel like they are the only true people in my life and I could not imagine what I would do without them. But how can we feel emotionally attached to another human? What do they do that we cannot give ourselves.
You cannot physically see it, but we know it is there because we can hear it. If we were born with no senses, would we have an imagination? I do not think so and it is for this reason that anything that heightens our senses must in fact be very realistic. Music heightens our sense of hearing and is a wonderful creation. Another thing in life, which I depend on, purely for enjoyment. It brings me closer to people because it is a subject that can be talked about and you can relate to people through it. It also lets you express emotions and feelings that maybe you cannot articulate through talking or writing. There are so many different genres that suit the personality of every human. There is such a wide variety of music out there in the big wide world and it seems to be that a different genre of music is created in the space of twenty-four hours. I have only started to get into the `alternative' scene and am finding the wide choice in music hard to understand, as there is so much of it. I find the whole music scene one of life's greatest conceptions and for this reason I think everyone should live their life by it, or at least be strongly influenced by it in some way.
Be it ska, hardcore punk, rock or jazz it can let feelings pass through your mind and body. This could also create a sense of fantasy. How can something that you cannot see make you feel so emotional and attached to?
`We could all even be part of a computer simulation, like a game. Yet we would not know it, for we are just code running to be made to act, as if we were real, despite the fact we are not. Like knocking a man unconscious, and plugging him into a virtual reality machine. He would wake up believing what the machine showed him was real.
Unless we are just brains connected to a large computer network, which had neurons attached to our brain. Then we could have sensations fed into the mind itself, like a trip, but an everlasting one. A dream is not real, yet when dreaming you can feel pain, sense, taste, and so forth. Even fear. But yet, it is not real.'
From this theory I can only say that I believe what it says. It is one theory of how we differentiate reality from fantasy...and if in fact we really can.
I wonder if anybody out there knows how to separate reality from fantasy? What is real and what is in our imaginations? What would the world be like if we did not think? If we did not have imaginations would the world still exist?
I do not believe that anyone has the answers to these problems, as we will probably never know. I personally believe that without our imaginations the world would be blank and uniform. But in our minds we can separate what is true and what is not. The things in my life that are most important to me will always be there no matter what. The things in life that will always be there are the real things...but are they real or not?
Friends
It seems to me through this life that there are many people that are susceptible to rejection and abuse, both physical and mental. On different levels, not only through relationships or family even but also through people you trust and rely on. You reach a place in your head when you start to doubt yourself and ask yourself meaningless questions that only you can answer.
At these low points in your life you question your individuality, your human rights and weather or not you deserve to be on this earth. But we must all endure these experiences to give us knowledge of existence, and how to deal with things and move on. It is difficult to grab these concepts but when u realise how to deal with them you look towards the people you have got. In my personal opinion I could not live without my friends. Although family are supportive and can offer good advise, they are not there to share your hidden secrets with and have a good time with.
Friends are the most sacred people in your life. Without them you would feel lost and more vulnerable to being hurt because no one would be there to give you support. To me, I feel like they are the only true people in my life and I could not imagine what I would do without them. But how can we feel emotionally attached to another human? What do they do that we cannot give ourselves.
Music
You cannot physically see it, but we know it is there because we can hear it. If we were born with no senses, would we have an imagination? I do not think so and it is for this reason that anything that heightens our senses must in fact be very realistic. Music heightens our sense of hearing and is a wonderful creation. Another thing in life, which I depend on, purely for enjoyment. It brings me closer to people because it is a subject that can be talked about and you can relate to people through it. It also lets you express emotions and feelings that maybe you cannot articulate through talking or writing. There are so many different genres that suit the personality of every human. There is such a wide variety of music out there in the big wide world and it seems to be that a different genre of music is created in the space of twenty-four hours. I have only started to get into the `alternative' scene and am finding the wide choice in music hard to understand, as there is so much of it. I find the whole music scene one of life's greatest conceptions and for this reason I think everyone should live their life by it, or at least be strongly influenced by it in some way.
Be it ska, hardcore punk, rock or jazz it can let feelings pass through your mind and body. This could also create a sense of fantasy. How can something that you cannot see make you feel so emotional and attached to?
Another theory
`We could all even be part of a computer simulation, like a game. Yet we would not know it, for we are just code running to be made to act, as if we were real, despite the fact we are not. Like knocking a man unconscious, and plugging him into a virtual reality machine. He would wake up believing what the machine showed him was real.
Unless we are just brains connected to a large computer network, which had neurons attached to our brain. Then we could have sensations fed into the mind itself, like a trip, but an everlasting one. A dream is not real, yet when dreaming you can feel pain, sense, taste, and so forth. Even fear. But yet, it is not real.'
From this theory I can only say that I believe what it says. It is one theory of how we differentiate reality from fantasy...and if in fact we really can.
Non- verbal communication
Hello again from the MCBIMDAVIG's. The many aspects of nonverbal
communication include eye gaze, gestures, posture, touching, paralinguistics,
and personal space. Personal space will be the focus of our second and final
newsletter*. During communication, many cultures have certain distances that
are considered to be acceptable and polite which vary depending on the nature
of the communication. Why should one be interested in this topic? Why is it
so important? In his research, Dr. Edward Hall writes that culture plays a
definitive role in determining how individuals use personal space. When people
of different cultures come into contact, they may understand each other just
fine on a verbal level, however the distance that is maintained between them
may relay a totally different message that the speaker has not intended.
As a result, serious offense may occur. Throughout this newsletter we will
be discussing the topic in greater detail.
One area in which personal distances has been studied are seating
arrangements. Researchers have examined seating arrangements from the
perspectives of distance and orientation. They have found that a shorter
distance implies greater intimacy while orientation or the position of those
seated had no relation to intimacy. One may think this study to be trival, but
who can recall the Paris Peace Conference of years back, where hostilities
among those involved in the Vietnam War continued, while leaders argued how
they should be seated in relation to one another.
*************************************************************************
THE CONCEPT OF PROXEMICS IN INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION
In face to face communication each individual has a certain amount of
desired "personal space." If a person is talking with another person from his
or her own culture, personal space is usually taken for granted and is not a
problem. However, when talking with someone from a different culture, personal
space becomes very important. Different cultures have different views on what
is a comfortable amount of personal space. If a person's space is violated
that person tends to try and find a way to reach a comfortable distance. This
is often done unconsciously and the person who is being violated will move
around to reach his or her desired space. For example, if you are used to
talking face to face from about four feet away you will try and keep this four
foot relationship throughout the conversation. If the other individual is used
to a two foot distance, he or she will try and maintain that. That peron will
unknowingly keep moving closer to you while you keep backing up to your desired
four foot distance. Studies have shown that a person who has their personal
space violated tends to be more aggressive and have a higher level of arousal.
It is important to know the concepts of personal space of the other cultures
that you may encounter because different cultures react differently to the
constant violation of personal space. One culture may think nothing of it,
while others consider it rude and may avoid communicating with you until you
realize the problem. The idea of personal space and proxemics is often over-
looked when dealing with intercultural communication. Proxemics is usually not
noticed until someone's space has been violated and a problem has arisen. It
is better to consider personal space prior to an interaction with another
cultrure in order to avoid any unnecessary problems and make the communication
that much easier and enjoyable.
*************************************************************************
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF CROSS-CULTURAL SPATIAL DIFFERENCES: SWEDEN
My own personal experience with violation of personal space occurred when I
was in Sweden. Swedes usually get just a little bit closer than Americans
when talking face to face. Although this was not a major problem for me, it
was one that took a little while to get used too. While I was there I spent
a lot of time with a family from Saudi Arabia. This family was used to a
distance that was much closer than the one I was used too. The distance they
found comfortable, about two feet, was what I would consider an intimate
distance, not a casual one. In this case, I could live with it and talk about
it because it was under casual circumstances. However, in a business deal or
more formal setting the problem may become a major factor in the outcome of the
situation.
*************************************************************************
IMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL SPACE, AN INTERCULTURAL FOCUS
In her paper, "Beyond Hall," Colleen Dolphin states "there is a serious
gap in the study of 'intercultural' proxemics; there appears to be very little
work with a truly intercultural focus." It's true that most of the experiments
that have been made are based on intracultural or, at the most, cross-cultural
interaction. However, we found that although people from different cultures
have different perceptions about personal space differences, they tend to
react similarly in certain situations, i.e. when someone gets too close, they
back up, and they feel that the person is being pushy, or aggressive or
whatever, and it leaves a bad impression of that person in their mind. We
talked to people from various cultures, and all of them said they would
react negatively when someone invades their personal space; however, each of
them had different definitions about what constituted "personal space." One
study conducted on this subject, by Colleen Dolphin herself, explores other
factors that affect the determining of personal space, such as age, sex,
relationship, environment, and ethnic co-cultures, which she feels "play
equally important roles in determining use of personal space." She found
that they definitely did affect it, and "particularly in the cases of age
and relationship, supercede any cultural aspects of the transaction."
The type of culture a person is from, regarding contact and noncontact
cultures, also seems to affect people's perception of personal space.
Researchers have found that people from contact cultures choose closer
distances, have and keep more direct eye contact, touch each other more
frequently, and speak louder than people from noncontact cultures.
Other studies that have been done, although not intercultural in nature, have
the potential to be helpful in an intercultural situation, because they
tend to make us aware of how we react, and that not all people react the
same. There was an interesting study done on white males that examined how
they adjust their personal space differences, based on certain circumstances.
The first study showed that men who had been socially isolated previous to
the encounter chose greater distances than those who had not. When the men
believed that the interaction would be observed by others, rather than
private, they also chose greater distances, as shown in the second study.
The third study pointed out a correlation between the topic of the conversation
and the expected length of it, with the greatest distance being chosen when
the topic was personal in nature, and the conversation was expected to be long.
The fourth study examined how room size and shape affect personal distance.
The research concluded that only in rectangular rooms did the size affect
personal distancing. Although many interesting studies have been done on
this subject, I will only cover one more. This study reveale that people with
low self-esteem decreased their expressions drastically when they were
interacting with people at close distances, whereas people with high self-
esteems reacted the basically the same regardless of the distance.
**********************************************************************
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF CROSS-CULTURAL SPATIAL DIFFERENCES: JAPAN
I spent a semester abroad in Japan, and while I was there I noticed
that the Japanese have a *very* different perception of personal
space. Not that it's different in regards to ours, but that within
their culture, it's different. Compared to our personal space, the Japanese
choose to stand further apart. Showing respect is very important in Japan,
and the amount of distance between people is often a way to express respect.
With this in mind, it is very difficult to comprehend the way people tolerate
the tremendous crowding that happens every day on the trains. Furthermore,
they do not express their irritation with the situation, at least not while
they are on the train. I don't know if it bothers them, and they've just
accepted it, and learned to live with it, or they since they've always
had to deal with it, they just think that's the way it is, and do not
feel the anger that we feel when we're experiencing it. I'm not sure
if it's a result of their different socialization, or different perception
of the situation. But it seems odd, because we're used to closer personal
distances, and are not as offended if people come "a little close," and yet it
really bothers us when we have to share a seat with someone on a crowded bus,
whereas they don't seem to mind sharing their lap with several people. I have
a feeling this has to do with more than just personal distance differences.
******************************************************************************
EMPIRICAL RESEARCH IN PROXEMICS
In their study, "Personal Space Among Botswana and American Students,"
Drs. Jeffrey Sanders, Wayne McKim, and Ann McKim, employ the Comfortable
Interpersonal Distance (CID) scale to determine differences in comfortable
distances between these two cultures. Developed in 1972 by M.P. Duke and
S. Nowicki, the CID measures personal space. This instrument allows research-
ers to compare cultural variations quantitatively in order to reveal spacial
variation in interpersonal communication between cultures. Quantitative
analysis helps eliminate errors in research due to a researcher's own cultural
biases.
The Sanders, McKim, McKim study provides a sophisticated statistical
analysis the perceptions of comfortable space between groups comprising of
37 male and 37 female students from Towson State University in Maryland and
Botswana University. The analysis measured spatial differences between
friends, starangers, the same sex, and the opposite sex. They reported,
Regardless of nationality, strangers were kept farther away than
friends, F(1,44) = 437.7,p < .001, and both sexes kept male strangers
farther away than female strangers, F(1,144) = 7.55, p < .01.
This statistical notation may be confusing to readers not familiar with
the CID scale, however, the above quote demonstrates how imperical data is
recorded and used to determine cultural differences in spatial perceptions.
This particular study found that Botswana University students maintained
greater distances for approaching strangers than Americans. They reported
no other significant differences between cultures. Similar studies have
found that native Puerto Ricans living in New York use less distance than
native New Yorkers, Pagan and Aiello (1982). A study by Sanders, Hakky, and
Brizzolara (1985) reveal that the use of personal space between Americans
and Egyptians differs significantly. Egyptians maintain what Americans
would consider intimate distance with their friends. However, Egyptian
females keep male friends at the same distance they keep strangers. The
researchers concluded that this, "probably reflects social norms restricting
male-female interaction." From this we can see, personal space as a part of
language reflects cross-cultural differences.
****************************************************************************
In this newsletter, we have explained how perceptions of comfortable
personal space differs between cultures, given some examples of research
being conducted in the field of proxemics, and shown how different perceptions
of comfortable distance can pose a stumbling block to successful inter-
cultural communication. We hope that acknowledging the fact that these
differences exist will help us all understand that people we talk to from
other cultures may stand closer or farther than we consider normal.
Empathizing with this situation will help alleviate problems in inter-
cultural communication.
Thank you,
communication include eye gaze, gestures, posture, touching, paralinguistics,
and personal space. Personal space will be the focus of our second and final
newsletter*. During communication, many cultures have certain distances that
are considered to be acceptable and polite which vary depending on the nature
of the communication. Why should one be interested in this topic? Why is it
so important? In his research, Dr. Edward Hall writes that culture plays a
definitive role in determining how individuals use personal space. When people
of different cultures come into contact, they may understand each other just
fine on a verbal level, however the distance that is maintained between them
may relay a totally different message that the speaker has not intended.
As a result, serious offense may occur. Throughout this newsletter we will
be discussing the topic in greater detail.
One area in which personal distances has been studied are seating
arrangements. Researchers have examined seating arrangements from the
perspectives of distance and orientation. They have found that a shorter
distance implies greater intimacy while orientation or the position of those
seated had no relation to intimacy. One may think this study to be trival, but
who can recall the Paris Peace Conference of years back, where hostilities
among those involved in the Vietnam War continued, while leaders argued how
they should be seated in relation to one another.
*************************************************************************
THE CONCEPT OF PROXEMICS IN INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION
In face to face communication each individual has a certain amount of
desired "personal space." If a person is talking with another person from his
or her own culture, personal space is usually taken for granted and is not a
problem. However, when talking with someone from a different culture, personal
space becomes very important. Different cultures have different views on what
is a comfortable amount of personal space. If a person's space is violated
that person tends to try and find a way to reach a comfortable distance. This
is often done unconsciously and the person who is being violated will move
around to reach his or her desired space. For example, if you are used to
talking face to face from about four feet away you will try and keep this four
foot relationship throughout the conversation. If the other individual is used
to a two foot distance, he or she will try and maintain that. That peron will
unknowingly keep moving closer to you while you keep backing up to your desired
four foot distance. Studies have shown that a person who has their personal
space violated tends to be more aggressive and have a higher level of arousal.
It is important to know the concepts of personal space of the other cultures
that you may encounter because different cultures react differently to the
constant violation of personal space. One culture may think nothing of it,
while others consider it rude and may avoid communicating with you until you
realize the problem. The idea of personal space and proxemics is often over-
looked when dealing with intercultural communication. Proxemics is usually not
noticed until someone's space has been violated and a problem has arisen. It
is better to consider personal space prior to an interaction with another
cultrure in order to avoid any unnecessary problems and make the communication
that much easier and enjoyable.
*************************************************************************
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF CROSS-CULTURAL SPATIAL DIFFERENCES: SWEDEN
My own personal experience with violation of personal space occurred when I
was in Sweden. Swedes usually get just a little bit closer than Americans
when talking face to face. Although this was not a major problem for me, it
was one that took a little while to get used too. While I was there I spent
a lot of time with a family from Saudi Arabia. This family was used to a
distance that was much closer than the one I was used too. The distance they
found comfortable, about two feet, was what I would consider an intimate
distance, not a casual one. In this case, I could live with it and talk about
it because it was under casual circumstances. However, in a business deal or
more formal setting the problem may become a major factor in the outcome of the
situation.
*************************************************************************
IMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL SPACE, AN INTERCULTURAL FOCUS
In her paper, "Beyond Hall," Colleen Dolphin states "there is a serious
gap in the study of 'intercultural' proxemics; there appears to be very little
work with a truly intercultural focus." It's true that most of the experiments
that have been made are based on intracultural or, at the most, cross-cultural
interaction. However, we found that although people from different cultures
have different perceptions about personal space differences, they tend to
react similarly in certain situations, i.e. when someone gets too close, they
back up, and they feel that the person is being pushy, or aggressive or
whatever, and it leaves a bad impression of that person in their mind. We
talked to people from various cultures, and all of them said they would
react negatively when someone invades their personal space; however, each of
them had different definitions about what constituted "personal space." One
study conducted on this subject, by Colleen Dolphin herself, explores other
factors that affect the determining of personal space, such as age, sex,
relationship, environment, and ethnic co-cultures, which she feels "play
equally important roles in determining use of personal space." She found
that they definitely did affect it, and "particularly in the cases of age
and relationship, supercede any cultural aspects of the transaction."
The type of culture a person is from, regarding contact and noncontact
cultures, also seems to affect people's perception of personal space.
Researchers have found that people from contact cultures choose closer
distances, have and keep more direct eye contact, touch each other more
frequently, and speak louder than people from noncontact cultures.
Other studies that have been done, although not intercultural in nature, have
the potential to be helpful in an intercultural situation, because they
tend to make us aware of how we react, and that not all people react the
same. There was an interesting study done on white males that examined how
they adjust their personal space differences, based on certain circumstances.
The first study showed that men who had been socially isolated previous to
the encounter chose greater distances than those who had not. When the men
believed that the interaction would be observed by others, rather than
private, they also chose greater distances, as shown in the second study.
The third study pointed out a correlation between the topic of the conversation
and the expected length of it, with the greatest distance being chosen when
the topic was personal in nature, and the conversation was expected to be long.
The fourth study examined how room size and shape affect personal distance.
The research concluded that only in rectangular rooms did the size affect
personal distancing. Although many interesting studies have been done on
this subject, I will only cover one more. This study reveale that people with
low self-esteem decreased their expressions drastically when they were
interacting with people at close distances, whereas people with high self-
esteems reacted the basically the same regardless of the distance.
**********************************************************************
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE OF CROSS-CULTURAL SPATIAL DIFFERENCES: JAPAN
I spent a semester abroad in Japan, and while I was there I noticed
that the Japanese have a *very* different perception of personal
space. Not that it's different in regards to ours, but that within
their culture, it's different. Compared to our personal space, the Japanese
choose to stand further apart. Showing respect is very important in Japan,
and the amount of distance between people is often a way to express respect.
With this in mind, it is very difficult to comprehend the way people tolerate
the tremendous crowding that happens every day on the trains. Furthermore,
they do not express their irritation with the situation, at least not while
they are on the train. I don't know if it bothers them, and they've just
accepted it, and learned to live with it, or they since they've always
had to deal with it, they just think that's the way it is, and do not
feel the anger that we feel when we're experiencing it. I'm not sure
if it's a result of their different socialization, or different perception
of the situation. But it seems odd, because we're used to closer personal
distances, and are not as offended if people come "a little close," and yet it
really bothers us when we have to share a seat with someone on a crowded bus,
whereas they don't seem to mind sharing their lap with several people. I have
a feeling this has to do with more than just personal distance differences.
******************************************************************************
EMPIRICAL RESEARCH IN PROXEMICS
In their study, "Personal Space Among Botswana and American Students,"
Drs. Jeffrey Sanders, Wayne McKim, and Ann McKim, employ the Comfortable
Interpersonal Distance (CID) scale to determine differences in comfortable
distances between these two cultures. Developed in 1972 by M.P. Duke and
S. Nowicki, the CID measures personal space. This instrument allows research-
ers to compare cultural variations quantitatively in order to reveal spacial
variation in interpersonal communication between cultures. Quantitative
analysis helps eliminate errors in research due to a researcher's own cultural
biases.
The Sanders, McKim, McKim study provides a sophisticated statistical
analysis the perceptions of comfortable space between groups comprising of
37 male and 37 female students from Towson State University in Maryland and
Botswana University. The analysis measured spatial differences between
friends, starangers, the same sex, and the opposite sex. They reported,
Regardless of nationality, strangers were kept farther away than
friends, F(1,44) = 437.7,p < .001, and both sexes kept male strangers
farther away than female strangers, F(1,144) = 7.55, p < .01.
This statistical notation may be confusing to readers not familiar with
the CID scale, however, the above quote demonstrates how imperical data is
recorded and used to determine cultural differences in spatial perceptions.
This particular study found that Botswana University students maintained
greater distances for approaching strangers than Americans. They reported
no other significant differences between cultures. Similar studies have
found that native Puerto Ricans living in New York use less distance than
native New Yorkers, Pagan and Aiello (1982). A study by Sanders, Hakky, and
Brizzolara (1985) reveal that the use of personal space between Americans
and Egyptians differs significantly. Egyptians maintain what Americans
would consider intimate distance with their friends. However, Egyptian
females keep male friends at the same distance they keep strangers. The
researchers concluded that this, "probably reflects social norms restricting
male-female interaction." From this we can see, personal space as a part of
language reflects cross-cultural differences.
****************************************************************************
In this newsletter, we have explained how perceptions of comfortable
personal space differs between cultures, given some examples of research
being conducted in the field of proxemics, and shown how different perceptions
of comfortable distance can pose a stumbling block to successful inter-
cultural communication. We hope that acknowledging the fact that these
differences exist will help us all understand that people we talk to from
other cultures may stand closer or farther than we consider normal.
Empathizing with this situation will help alleviate problems in inter-
cultural communication.
Thank you,
My Break Up
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
Why can’t things ever be the same
What happened to us was a shame
All of my life where she had been?
I wish I just could hold her again
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
I fell for her, but I hit the ground
I can’t stand to see her walking down the halls
For my heart is does pound
And I can’t go back to just friends
For then the memories will never fade and the hurt will never end
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
Was it reallfy just a stupid fad?
I know it’s not her fault
And I need to some mature adult
It was just going to happen anyway
Is what they say
But the doesn’t change the way I fell
I know it was for the best
Fuck the best, I’m still a mess
And I must confess
I put my life to the test
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
Why can’t things ever be the same
What happened to us was a shame
All of my life where she had been?
I wish I just could hold her again
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
I fell for her, but I hit the ground
I can’t stand to see her walking down the halls
For my heart is does pound
And I can’t go back to just friends
For then the memories will never fade and the hurt will never end
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Why does she make me feel so sad?
Was it reallfy just a stupid fad?
I know it’s not her fault
And I need to some mature adult
It was just going to happen anyway
Is what they say
But the doesn’t change the way I fell
I know it was for the best
Fuck the best, I’m still a mess
And I must confess
I put my life to the test
Why does it have hurt so bad?
Love and Hate [PAPER]
On Love and Hate:
Historically, extremes in emotion and reason do not
often mix. I am thus cautious of attempting to comb through
love or hate with reason. My recourses are two: to (yes,
using what reason I have) separate intellectual thought from
emotion; and to apply as little reason as possible without
ceasing to write.
It seems reasonable (sorry) to assume that emotion and
reason have nothing to do with each other. It also seems
very likely that one cannot exist with the other. They seem
capable of cohabitation within a single person, but fall upon
differing objects. Are not the things we love or hate not
the things we understand?
Hate:
Hate is one of our reactions to a lack of understanding.
We cannot hate that which we understand. Hate is our
frustration at failure to comprehend. The more we understand
something hated, the more our hatred becomes sadness or pity,
or deepens to a hatred of that which caused whatever it was
that we did not understand. In the latter case, the hatred
may increase with understanding, but the object of the hatred
has shifted.
We are given a wide range of paths for dealing with our
hatred, from the altruistic to the reactionary. The
altruists, wishing peace without societal discord, tell us to
repress our hatred and replace it with love, a path bound
eventually for emotive explosion and breakdown. The
diametric path gives us a series of smaller explosions with
promise of emotional stability as a result of constant
expulsion of malefic urges.
Neither of these, or combinations thereof, are terribly
productive ways in which to deal with hate, as even the
moderate paths deal with the hatred only superficially and
inefficiently. I see the only way around hatred being
understanding. Upon comprehension of the object of hatred,
one is either better equipped for the constructive removal of
said object, cooly and rationally; or no longer desirous of
the removal. Either outcome is fully satisfying
altruistically. In the latter case, one must accept
simultaneously a bit of humility for having been mistaken as
well as a bit of pride for having become a bit more correct.
This leaves one emotionally balanced. The hatred is not
repressed, but transformed. The same emotional energy is
simply working in a different direction. Upon the removal of
the object, the hatred is put to work in a positive manner
instead of simply lashing out half-cocked and possibly
incorrectly.
The process is simply that of questioning: "why does
this specific situation exist?", and "what can be done to
cause this situation not to exist?". Realize that just as
for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction;
for every reaction, there is an equal and opposite cause; and
that nothing is simply either cause or effect, but everything
is both.
Love:
Ask the same questions, hope not to find answers, and
don't be disappointed when you do. If you find understanding
of the object of love, it will no longer be an object of
love, as love, similarly to hate, is a reaction to a lack of
understanding. The faster you find answers, the more
superficial the emotion. When answers come in the form of
more questions, you have a true indication of the intensity
and thoroughness of the emotion, and there is more likelyhood
that when love finally disappears, through comprehension, it
will be replaced with respect and admiration which you will
find very easy to tell yourself is the same thing.
I am sorry if it seems I have advised you to processes
that diminish or destroy emotions; I have not. Emotions,
contrary to poetic assumption, are not permanent, but
transitory (although it is certainly not impossible for them
to remain for durations exceeding a human lifetime). I
believe that the proper thing to do with emotions is to
consummate them, not to either prolong or shorten their
duration, for one is stagnation and the other repression.
Historically, extremes in emotion and reason do not
often mix. I am thus cautious of attempting to comb through
love or hate with reason. My recourses are two: to (yes,
using what reason I have) separate intellectual thought from
emotion; and to apply as little reason as possible without
ceasing to write.
It seems reasonable (sorry) to assume that emotion and
reason have nothing to do with each other. It also seems
very likely that one cannot exist with the other. They seem
capable of cohabitation within a single person, but fall upon
differing objects. Are not the things we love or hate not
the things we understand?
Hate:
Hate is one of our reactions to a lack of understanding.
We cannot hate that which we understand. Hate is our
frustration at failure to comprehend. The more we understand
something hated, the more our hatred becomes sadness or pity,
or deepens to a hatred of that which caused whatever it was
that we did not understand. In the latter case, the hatred
may increase with understanding, but the object of the hatred
has shifted.
We are given a wide range of paths for dealing with our
hatred, from the altruistic to the reactionary. The
altruists, wishing peace without societal discord, tell us to
repress our hatred and replace it with love, a path bound
eventually for emotive explosion and breakdown. The
diametric path gives us a series of smaller explosions with
promise of emotional stability as a result of constant
expulsion of malefic urges.
Neither of these, or combinations thereof, are terribly
productive ways in which to deal with hate, as even the
moderate paths deal with the hatred only superficially and
inefficiently. I see the only way around hatred being
understanding. Upon comprehension of the object of hatred,
one is either better equipped for the constructive removal of
said object, cooly and rationally; or no longer desirous of
the removal. Either outcome is fully satisfying
altruistically. In the latter case, one must accept
simultaneously a bit of humility for having been mistaken as
well as a bit of pride for having become a bit more correct.
This leaves one emotionally balanced. The hatred is not
repressed, but transformed. The same emotional energy is
simply working in a different direction. Upon the removal of
the object, the hatred is put to work in a positive manner
instead of simply lashing out half-cocked and possibly
incorrectly.
The process is simply that of questioning: "why does
this specific situation exist?", and "what can be done to
cause this situation not to exist?". Realize that just as
for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction;
for every reaction, there is an equal and opposite cause; and
that nothing is simply either cause or effect, but everything
is both.
Love:
Ask the same questions, hope not to find answers, and
don't be disappointed when you do. If you find understanding
of the object of love, it will no longer be an object of
love, as love, similarly to hate, is a reaction to a lack of
understanding. The faster you find answers, the more
superficial the emotion. When answers come in the form of
more questions, you have a true indication of the intensity
and thoroughness of the emotion, and there is more likelyhood
that when love finally disappears, through comprehension, it
will be replaced with respect and admiration which you will
find very easy to tell yourself is the same thing.
I am sorry if it seems I have advised you to processes
that diminish or destroy emotions; I have not. Emotions,
contrary to poetic assumption, are not permanent, but
transitory (although it is certainly not impossible for them
to remain for durations exceeding a human lifetime). I
believe that the proper thing to do with emotions is to
consummate them, not to either prolong or shorten their
duration, for one is stagnation and the other repression.
I Don't Believe You Anymore
I don't believe you anymore.
I don't believe your myths, your stories or your state imposed justice!
I don't believe in political correctness!
I don't believe in killing for civilization!
I don't believe in a better religion!
I don't believe in borders!
I don't believe in blue blood or elite beings!
I don't believe that one is allowed to kill for one reason, but not for another!
I don't believe that killing is right for any cause or that killers go with their own gods blessing!
I don't believe in your gods or their eternal wrath for not believing in them!
I don't believe in a justified war!
I don't believe that better, more or bigger weapons give more rights or a better justified cause!
I don't believe in leaders that advocate violence to maintain or reach their political or religious goals!
I don't believe in the innocence of humans that out of fear mongering will do whatever their leaders demand as the only right thing to do!
I don't believe that killing terrorists will avoid creating them!
I don't believe that secrecy serves the needs of mankind as a whole!
I don't believe that happiness only can be found in the pool the majority decides I can choose from!
I don't believe that if 80% of a country's population cries out for blood even with severely limited information is also enough justification to get it!
I don't believe.
I refuse to believe that humans that aren't in one or another way manipulated are the creatures of hell that others for reasons secret claim them to be!
IOW:
NO... No Mr Bush or Mr Bin Laden.. I refuse to be with either of you, I refuse that either of your so claimed causes is enough reason to destroy the world or kill people that just want to try to live a reasonable human existence with pride and honor.
Exist with pride and honor in a world that since Thomas More wrote Utopia knows how that can be achieved... The reason for why no one is living in that dream he wrote, everyone can investigate by themselves... One thing is sure though, the global populations of lower classes have nothing to lose by it.
Who does, and what are the ways keeping those populations from living that dream?
What more can a human being ask for than live the dream of having a life worth living, a job worthwhile to put one's efforts in and keeping the world livable for the generations to come.
If honor asks me to stand for this Ideal, So be it. I know I am not wrong.
For the ones that do believe, Merry Christmas...
For the ones that yearn for already so long... Peace on Earth... From this moment on in a future filled with equal Liberty and Justice for all guaranteeing more reasons to live than to die.
I don't believe your myths, your stories or your state imposed justice!
I don't believe in political correctness!
I don't believe in killing for civilization!
I don't believe in a better religion!
I don't believe in borders!
I don't believe in blue blood or elite beings!
I don't believe that one is allowed to kill for one reason, but not for another!
I don't believe that killing is right for any cause or that killers go with their own gods blessing!
I don't believe in your gods or their eternal wrath for not believing in them!
I don't believe in a justified war!
I don't believe that better, more or bigger weapons give more rights or a better justified cause!
I don't believe in leaders that advocate violence to maintain or reach their political or religious goals!
I don't believe in the innocence of humans that out of fear mongering will do whatever their leaders demand as the only right thing to do!
I don't believe that killing terrorists will avoid creating them!
I don't believe that secrecy serves the needs of mankind as a whole!
I don't believe that happiness only can be found in the pool the majority decides I can choose from!
I don't believe that if 80% of a country's population cries out for blood even with severely limited information is also enough justification to get it!
I don't believe.
I refuse to believe that humans that aren't in one or another way manipulated are the creatures of hell that others for reasons secret claim them to be!
IOW:
NO... No Mr Bush or Mr Bin Laden.. I refuse to be with either of you, I refuse that either of your so claimed causes is enough reason to destroy the world or kill people that just want to try to live a reasonable human existence with pride and honor.
Exist with pride and honor in a world that since Thomas More wrote Utopia knows how that can be achieved... The reason for why no one is living in that dream he wrote, everyone can investigate by themselves... One thing is sure though, the global populations of lower classes have nothing to lose by it.
Who does, and what are the ways keeping those populations from living that dream?
What more can a human being ask for than live the dream of having a life worth living, a job worthwhile to put one's efforts in and keeping the world livable for the generations to come.
If honor asks me to stand for this Ideal, So be it. I know I am not wrong.
For the ones that do believe, Merry Christmas...
For the ones that yearn for already so long... Peace on Earth... From this moment on in a future filled with equal Liberty and Justice for all guaranteeing more reasons to live than to die.
All about the great word FUCK
Subject FUCK
COMMENT:Out Fucking Standing
Prehaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the
English language also is one of my personal all time favorites
the word "FUCK". It is the one magical world really like no other
word which, just by the sound alone. it can discribe pain,pleasure
hate and love . FUCK as many words in the Engiish language. takes
it's name from the German word FRICKEN.
In language,FUCK falls into many grammatical categories It can be
Used as a verb, both transitive (John FUCKED Mary)and intransitive
(Mary was FUCKED by John) it can be active verb (Mary doesn't FUCK),or
a passive verb (Mary wasn't really FUCKED ),as a adverb(Mary is FUCKING
interested'in John),and as a noun (Mary is a fine FUCK).I'm Fucking
impressed ! As you can see, there are not many words with versatility
of FUCK !
Besides it's sexual connotation this world can be used to discribe many
situation so very colorfully :
FRAUD..................I got fucked by my insurance agent.
DISMAY.................Oh,fuck it!
TROUBLE................I guess I'm fucked now.
AGRESSION..............FUCK YOU !!!
ANGER................. FUCK !!!!!!!
PASSION...............Fuck me.
CONFUSION.............What the fuck...
DIFFICULTY............I can't understand this fucking business....
DISPAIR...............Fucked again
PHILOSOPHY............Who gives a fuck ?
INCOMPETENCE..........He's fucked up
LAZINESS.............He is a fuck off
DISPLEASURE..........What the fuck's going on ?
REBELLION............Fuck it.
It can be used in the descriptive anatomy: He's really a fucking asshole]
It can be used to tell the time: It's five fucking thirty
It can be used in business: How did I get this fucking job ?
It can be used in prediction: Well I'll be fucked.
It can be used maternally: You motherfucker.
It can be used incestuously: Motherfucker
It can be used politically: Fuck Bush.
It can be used to open doors to wonderful frendships: Let's fuck
It can be used just to enhance the meaning of a word: Beautiful fucking, or too fucking nice
fucking nice.
Now as you can see the mind fairly boggles and many more creative forms
of this most functional word come to mind. Have a Fucking nice day !
In parting I would like to leave you with this though: How can any on
be offened when you say FUCK ? Use it in your daily conversation, tell
someone the get fucked today !
COMMENT:Out Fucking Standing
Prehaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the
English language also is one of my personal all time favorites
the word "FUCK". It is the one magical world really like no other
word which, just by the sound alone. it can discribe pain,pleasure
hate and love . FUCK as many words in the Engiish language. takes
it's name from the German word FRICKEN.
In language,FUCK falls into many grammatical categories It can be
Used as a verb, both transitive (John FUCKED Mary)and intransitive
(Mary was FUCKED by John) it can be active verb (Mary doesn't FUCK),or
a passive verb (Mary wasn't really FUCKED ),as a adverb(Mary is FUCKING
interested'in John),and as a noun (Mary is a fine FUCK).I'm Fucking
impressed ! As you can see, there are not many words with versatility
of FUCK !
Besides it's sexual connotation this world can be used to discribe many
situation so very colorfully :
FRAUD..................I got fucked by my insurance agent.
DISMAY.................Oh,fuck it!
TROUBLE................I guess I'm fucked now.
AGRESSION..............FUCK YOU !!!
ANGER................. FUCK !!!!!!!
PASSION...............Fuck me.
CONFUSION.............What the fuck...
DIFFICULTY............I can't understand this fucking business....
DISPAIR...............Fucked again
PHILOSOPHY............Who gives a fuck ?
INCOMPETENCE..........He's fucked up
LAZINESS.............He is a fuck off
DISPLEASURE..........What the fuck's going on ?
REBELLION............Fuck it.
It can be used in the descriptive anatomy: He's really a fucking asshole]
It can be used to tell the time: It's five fucking thirty
It can be used in business: How did I get this fucking job ?
It can be used in prediction: Well I'll be fucked.
It can be used maternally: You motherfucker.
It can be used incestuously: Motherfucker
It can be used politically: Fuck Bush.
It can be used to open doors to wonderful frendships: Let's fuck
It can be used just to enhance the meaning of a word: Beautiful fucking, or too fucking nice
fucking nice.
Now as you can see the mind fairly boggles and many more creative forms
of this most functional word come to mind. Have a Fucking nice day !
In parting I would like to leave you with this though: How can any on
be offened when you say FUCK ? Use it in your daily conversation, tell
someone the get fucked today !
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